Did you know there’s a way to recognize immediately when you’re out of alignment?
What I mean by out of alignment is the times you’re disconnected from yourself, from source, from believing in miracles and trusting that you’re supported…
When you’re misaligned, life feels hard and chaotic, kind of like you’re going uphill in a whole lot of mud.. it’s those times when you feel like all of these awful things keep happening to you and there’s no way out… no one to help you, support you or even to lean on.
I lived like this for years—I thought I had to figure it all out on my own. Like I had to come up with a perfect plan for everything or else I’d never “make it.”
And then my plans started to crumble, you know why? Because they went against absolutely everything my body was asking for. My plans usually included working harder and stretching myself as thin as I could because I had to do it all.
The more I worked against myself, the angrier I got because I was ignoring my own needs and then shoved down the anger I felt—the anger that was trying to tell me something’s up—because I was almost there, almost at my goal.
Until my body stepped in and said, “NOPE! Not on my watch,” and then I’d be in bed for a week with a virus or some other sickness—full of rage, again for not “making” it.
I’m telling you this because when you’re learning to trust yourself, you first must begin to listen to all the ways your body communicates with you.
It starts with your emotions. This is one of the first ways your body will communicate with and try to tell you something is up.
This warning through your emotions is called the not-self theme in Human Design. Think of Human Design as an extension of your birth chart and it acts as a blueprint for the different conditioning you have and how you can best be supported in your life.
You can find out what yours is by checking out your chart here.
Once you have it, I want you to find your type: manifestor, manifesting generator, projector, reflector or generator and then note your not-self theme.
I’m a manifestor, so my not-self theme is Anger.
I get angry when my plans fall apart, when I’m doing something I don’t want to do, when I’m tired, when someone betrays me, just to name a few…
But the more I connected with myself, the more I realized that we, as humans and women, are not meant to feel the same way every day.
We are meant to feel a full range of emotions and the more I allowed myself to feel, the less shame I felt when I wake up yet another morning and can’t silence the voices in my head.
This is normal.
Anyways, back to the not-self theme—it is the perfect way to start recognizing the conditioning you have that’s not meant to be yours.
What I mean by conditioning is the expectations and rules you were taught you had to follow and embody in order to be deemed successful.
Because let’s be real—doing what everyone else is doing does not suit you on a soul level.
You are meant to be doing something different and unique, we all are.
As you start paying attention to how and when the not-self theme shows up in your life, you’ll have a blueprint that’ll show you where you are being called to deconstruct and rebuild your belief system and what painful parts of yourself you need to focus on first.
Here’s what I want you to do: when you’re feeling your not-self theme, when you have a moment, I want you to get to the real root cause of it—the pain that’s hiding under the emotion.
Take 15 minutes to open up your journal and ask yourself:
Why am I feeling this way?
And continue to ask yourself this question until you get to a past memory or feeling.
Here’s an example:
I’m angry because the girls at work keep purposefully ignoring me and are talking sh*t.
Why am I feeling this way?
I’m not being included
Why am I feeling this way?
They’re making me feel like I’m not good enough.
Why am I feeling this way?
I don’t feel good enough.
*This is the root cause of your emotion*
sidenote: It may take you longer to get to the root, stay on it and challenge yourself to get as honest with yourself as you can.
This real-life tangible scenario is tugging at an old wound that’s been hiding under the surface, and secretly influencing all of my reactions.
My anger is here telling me that it’s not about the situation at hand, it’s really about not feeling good enough.
And this is exactly how you take your power back.
Because you found the root cause, you are able to take control of the situation by working on healing your not-enoughness.
Healing this part of you will help you stop caring about what other people are saying and thinking about you—so the next time you hear people whispering about you, you can keep it moving and maintain your inner peace because you healed the pain.
Let me know how this is going for you over in slack and what awareness’ and breakthroughs you’ve had.
Xo,
Lauren